


Dout Embers

by Jinkisducklings



Category: SHINee
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Camping, First Kiss, First Time, M/M, Summer Love, Summer Romance, kind of i suppose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-02-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:35:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22936453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jinkisducklings/pseuds/Jinkisducklings
Summary: Jonghyun finds who he believes is the love of his life the summer before he's arranged to be married to someone he's never met.
Relationships: Kim Jonghyun/Lee Jinki | Onew
Comments: 15
Kudos: 35
Collections: Winter of SHINee





	Dout Embers

**Author's Note:**

> It was prompt 4 for Winter of Shinee. I do hope you like it :) (We're just gonna pretend that someone would go camping for three months alright, it's basically summer camp but for adults alright lmao)

The soft notes of music drifted through the open, sunlit room. Jonghyun kept his eyes closed as his fingers moved over the keys of the grand piano, a slight smile pulling at his lips with each swell of the melody. The afternoon sun was warm and inviting, shining through the large windows that overlooked the small backyard garden his mother was adamant about tending to. The soft gurgle of the fountain in the middle of the pathway down below was just barely heard over the sound of music through the open window to the left of the man. The sharp creak and hiss of the door opening behind him startled Jonghyun, fingers missing the intended keys and he grimaced at the sound. 

After turning around on the bench he was sitting on, Jonghyun was met with the last servant his family still employed, their butler and old chief of staff Youngbae, “Sorry to have disturbed you Master Jonghyun, but your parents wish to have a word with you.” 

Jonghyun pressed his lips together, fingers tapping gently on the top of his thighs before he asked, “You wouldn’t happen to know if this Word has to do with the number of messages the house has gotten in the last couple weeks?”

The older man’s expression gave the answer that Jonghyun dreaded before he even spoke. “From the messages that I read for your father, it seems my young Master there’s to be another wedding in this house.” 

“Oh.” He swallowed thickly, fingers curling in the soft fabric of his lounging pants. “I didn’t think that I was going to be arranged.” 

“I apologize.” Youngbae bowed at the waist as he finished, “They’re in the grand study. Try to be optimistic. I do believe your intended is a man.”

Jonghyun didn’t watch Youngbae leave, for as he turned to do so Jonghyun’s head fell into his hands. He knew historically for generations noble families arranged marriages between their children for many reasons, but he thought times were different. His older sister had been given away to a man who lived out of the country, an arranged marriage set in stone by his grandfather even before she had been born. Sodam had been the first girl born from Jonghyun’s father’s family in three generations and had to marry the man to complete the deal that had been struck.

When Sodam had gotten married, he thought that his family’s money troubles would be solved, but as he saw more and more of the servants being let go and some of the more priceless paintings being taken for auction the more he realized nothing had been fixed at all. Still, he never thought his love life and who he’d spend the rest of his life with would be decided for him, not in this day and age. 

As he pushed off the bench and headed toward where he knew his parents to be, all Jonghyun could think about was his desire to marry someone who loved him was never going to happen.

\-----

Jonghyun’s family had ancient roots in the city, old friends of the long-ago rulers of the once-grand empire, but those days had passed. Jonghyun could remember the stories his grandmother used to tell him about the history of their family. Many were about the different ancestors having been the right-hand man to the King throughout the generations, always having a voice in court. He knew his family was old, but the weight and wealth that used to come with were gone. The absolute monarchy had transitioned into a constitutional monarchy a few hundred years prior and the King was rarely seen at all. 

The King was an elderly man who lost both his sons in a car accident almost a decade ago. His wife was long gone and most of the public expected his younger brother’s family to take over the line of ascension. Rumor had it that a grandson had been found in the lower levels of the city, the son of an ex maid in the castle. No one had entered the Castle except the Prime Minister since the late Princes funerals, and only the most trusted servants had been kept to keep the estate running. 

From the back balcony, Jonghyun could see the Castle on the horizon, a looming shadow in a painting of oranges and reds of the sunset. He wondered what this rumored grandson had planned for him. Could he marry who he wanted or was he subjugated to the outdated practice of arranged marriage as he was? It was easy to imagine the man, a prince by blood if not by title. With everything at his fingertips if he just reached out for it. Freedom. That’s what Jonghyun envied from a man who probably didn’t even exist.

With a sigh, he turned from the railing and headed back inside. His parents had informed him they were in the process of arranging his marriage to a man from a wealthy family, to fix the financial burden they held. Nothing about the marriage would be in Jonghyun’s hands and he knew it would take more than a few hours for that to process. He had hoped that he could have some say in the ceremony or the honeymoon, but other than saying he wanted a few friends invited and would rather have steak than fish for the dinner afterward… nothing was up to him. 

Freedom of choice, what an odd concept.

\---

Laying out on the table was a photo of a young man, bronze skin and dark hair, playing the piano with a great window looming behind him. He was beautiful in a modest kind of way. Smile pretty and easy on his face, shirt lose on his frame as he played. “Is this who I’m to marry, Grandfather?” 

“His name is Jonghyun Kim. His family is a very old friend of ours. They’ve run into some financial trouble.” The old man put his hands in the sleeves of his outer robe. “They approached me with an offer. While they cannot bring monetary value, they were looking for a male betrothed. I thought he might make you happy.”

He picked up the photo with gentle hands. The man in the photo obviously loved music and if he the idea that he could marry a man was exciting. After the mother of his child ran off with her family soon after the boy was born he hadn’t thought much about marriage. “Can I meet him?” 

“Until the deal is settled completely, you cannot.”

The picture floated back to the table as he dropped it, biting his lip as he thought it over. “And they know I have a child?” 

“I was told he would be informed.”

“Alright.” He nodded, crossing his arms over his chest, “If he’ll accept my child as his own, I’ll marry him.” 

“I’ll send word.” 

He bowed his head to his grandfather, “Going for a ride. We’ll be back before dinner.” 

\-----

Jonghyun pushed around his potatoes, cheek resting on his palm as his parents bickered over dinner. Most of the time he took his food up to the music room, sitting and looking over the gardens before picking up one of the instruments to play, but his parents had insisted they had important news for him regarding his betrothal. Except for the fact, they couldn’t stop fighting long enough to tell him anything. From the bits of their disagreement he caught, they were arguing over his mother’s spending. As usual. It didn’t help with his father’s infidelity that neither wanted to address, but Jonghyun knew it was looming over them all like a guillotine. Finally having enough, he looked up and asked loudly enough to be heard over their rising voices, “What is it you wished to tell me?” 

“They accepted the conditions completely. The wedding is scheduled for six months from now, in the middle of Autumn.” His Father replies, setting his knife against the edge of his plate.

After a moment, he asked quietly, “May I meet them?”

“They have requested that the interaction be limited.” 

“But if I am to marry someone that I do not love, I’d think I at least deserve to meet them before signing my life away, Mother.” 

“They’re from a very well known family, but would rather keep this on the down-low until the day of. Rumors are nasty things.”

Jonghyun scuffed, “I can’t meet him because they want to protect his Image?” 

“Not exactly, Son. Just-”

He pushed his chair out from the table, gripping his plate in one hand and the glass of wine in the other. “I’ll be having my dinner elsewhere. I’d rather not be reminded that my life is being planned for me all the time.” 

\----

It was a few days later that something slipped onto his desk and when Jonghyun looked over Youngbae was standing there. “What is this?” 

“Up north near the old falls, twice a year they have extended camping trips. My brother had gifted me this, but being as I am needed here and you are in need of this far more than I am, I think you should go in my place.”

Gingerly, Jonghyun picked up the thick pamphlet, flipping through it slowly. “I can’t accept this, Youngbae.” 

“You can and will.” Youngbae squeezed his shoulder softly. “In six months your life will no longer be in your hands. Live a little, do something stupid, but get away from here for a while.”

He chewed his bottom lip for a moment, “Are you sure?” 

“Completely. I’ll even help you pack.” 

The idea of having almost three months out in a cabin surrounded by beautiful woods and waterfalls, maybe meeting a few friends was so much more captivating than staying here in this house. There were horseback riding and natural hot springs, and a zipline that spanned the distance between the two farthest waterfalls. The package given to Youngbae included an individual cabin which meant privacy and freedom in a way Jonghyun hasn’t felt in years. “Okay. Okay, I’ll go.” 

\------

Youngbae opened his door, standing with one arm behind his back as Jonghyun stepped out of the black car. Underneath his boot gravel crunched. There were already people walking around the place, while others were just arriving as he was. His suitcase was lifted from the truck and placed right by him. “You’re in Cabin 5A. Did you want help finding it?” 

Jonghyun gripped the handle of his suitcase and shook his head with a smile, gazing over the campground he’d be spending the next three months exploring. “No, no that’s alright, Youngbae. There’s a map, right?”

“There is.” Youngbae pulled the back of papers, including the registration and proof the Cabin was his, out of the inside pocket of his jacket. Once it was handed over the older man pointed toward the large building just to the right of the main path. “You should be able to get your key there in the office. Phones shouldn’t work this far up the mountains, but there is a landline there, so if you need anything don’t be afraid to call.”

Jonghyun slowly looked over at him and smiled, “Thank you again, Youngbae.” 

“Have fun, alright?” He clasped his young charge’s upper arm before stepping back. “See you in three months, Master Jonghyun.” 

“Goodbye, Youngbae.” By the time Jonghyun pulls his suitcase and begins to walk to the office, the car is gone in a soft cloud of dust. Before taking the steps, Jonghyun takes a deep breath. No worries, no obligations. Just relaxation. He’s just another twenty-something year old up here for some time away from real life. He could do that. 

Hopefully.

\-----

The office was full of people it seemed. Some leaning against the large check-in counter, others milling around in the small shop to the right and a few talking with what looked like workers to the left. Swinging from his finger was his cabin key as he tapped his other hand on the handle of his suitcase. After checking in and getting his cabin assignment, he was told to wait for a representative to show him around the campground. Just when Jonghyun was about to forget it and go find his own way around, the door behind the counter swung open loud enough everything in the room froze. 

Standing there was a man in a dark blue polo showing he worked there. His hair was pulled up on the top of his head in a messy bun, cheeks blushed red as he gave a small smile. Just as quickly as everyone stopped what they were doing, things resumed, but Jonghyun kept his eyes on the man who just entered. He was pretty, almost regal in a way even with his hair in disarray and the mud on his knee-high boots. It took Jonghyun way too long to realize that the man was heading his way after a quick stop at the desk. In his hand was a pink slip. This close he noticed there was a name stitched on his right breast. “Hello. Jonghyun Kim, right?”

“Yes. Are you my guide?” 

Jonghyun could swear the smile on the man’s face falters. “Yes. My name is Jinki. I apologize for the wait.” 

“That’s alright. You seemed in quite a hurry to get here.” He motioned with a nod of his head toward the door that had slammed open upon Jinki’s arrival. He followed when Jinki began to move toward the exit.

“Ah, yes.” He opened the front door with a smile, stepping out of the way and holding it open with his foot. “One of the mares was giving me a hard time this morning and I missed orientation.” 

“Mares?” 

“I’m in charge of the Stables here.” Jinki headed down the right path, boots crunching against the gravel. “5a is one of the better Cabin’s here. It overlooks the lake on the far side of the grounds, away from the Dock.” 

“Oh, that’s good to hear.” 

Jinki grins, “First time here?” 

“Yeah,” He gripped his suitcase tighter, realizing how hard it was to move it over the gravel of the path. Up ahead he could see the small rocks of the gravel shifted into the flat sidewalk. “That obvious?”

“You brought a rolling suitcase, for one.” 

“Oh.” He tugged said suitcase with both hands to unstick the wheel. He cursed under his breath, shaking the stupid thing to no avail until a warm hand gently touched his arm.

“Let me.” 

Jonghyun slowly let go of his suitcase, stepping away and tried to ignore how Jinki picking it up so gracefully made him think of being picked up himself. “Thank you.”

“It really isn’t a problem at all.” Without the suitcase to worry about, Jonghyun was able to stay in line with Jinki. “It is my job to assist you with anything you may need.” 

“You said you’re in charge of the Stables though.”

“I’ve worked here since I was 13, mucking up the stalls and taking care of the horses. At the time my Mom was working in the cleaning crew here and we had a small cabin in the workers’ section.” Jonghyun couldn’t imagine having to work when he was thirteen. “Been here ever since. There was this horse, Princess, who ran off every stable hand they could find.” 

“Except you?” 

“Yeah, except me. When I was 17 they offered me the position to head the Stables.” They passed a sign with a fancy carved 5 into the wood. “She liked me enough that she was my horse when I guided rides until she had to be retired a few years ago. She lives back home with me now.” 

The first Cabin to the right was marked with a single A by the door. It had a pretty deep red roof, a porch with two chairs softly rocking in the breeze, and white daisies sprouting along the base. The steps didn’t even squeak as they both walked up to them toward the front door. “Maybe I’ll come to take a ride with you.”

Jinki gently put the suitcase down, resting it against the cabin and opened the screen door with a raised eyebrow. “Have you ever ridden a horse before?” 

He wiggled the key into the lock with a snippy, “I know a thing or two.” 

“I suppose we’ll see about that.” Jinki stayed on the porch after placing the suitcase just inside the door. “Did you want to get settled in your cabin or see more of the grounds?”

Jonghyun wanted to explore his cabin, unpack his things, see how big the bed was and go look at the gorgeous view he had a taste of on the way in. He also wanted to see all the campground had to offer. It didn’t hurt that Jinki would be the one showing him it. He was cute and had a nice voice. It reminded him of the way hot tea with honey felt when you drank it holding the cup between your palms. “I don’t want to take you away from more pressing duties.”  
“You get settled here and if you still want that tour after, make your way to the main office again. They’ll page me.” Jinki grinned, “It was nice meeting you, Jonghyun.” 

“You too, Jinki.” 

The screen door was gently shut as Jinki turned, jogged down the steps and disappeared from view. Jonghyun put his hands on his hips after kicking the door close, grinning brightly. There was a fireplace in the main area, a small couch, and a matching chair. There was a table with two chairs on the far wall by the huge window. The glistening blue water shining up from the lake took his attention almost immediately. It wasn’t a huge lake for he could see the cabins on the other side and the dock pushing out into it. He wanted to put his feet into the water, watch the way the sun moved over the water in the summer afternoons. Before that though, he wanted to unpack his things and see if he had a bathroom in the cabin. He’d rather not have to use a public restroom if he could help it for bathing or three am pee breaks.

\----

The moon was high in the night sky, the breeze cool this high up in the mountains, but Jinki’s presence was warm beside him. After heading back up to the office, the man had arrived once he was paged. He had shown Jonghyun the stables, the volleyball pits, the mess hall where the three main meals of the day would be served, and even the snack hut that was open 24 hours a day. It sold many things other than snacks, blankets, hoodies, and fire-making tools. The last thing that Jinki planned to show him was the lake. The dock creaked as the lake lapped against it, their bare feet padding against the softwood. “What do you do for a living?” 

Jonghyun slowly looks away from the moon glinting on the water to find Jinki’s face in the dim light. “I write and produce music. Jingles sometimes.”

“I’ve always wanted to know how to play the piano, but when I was growing up my mother could never afford the lessons at the music store in town.” He gave a soft smile, almost sad around the edges, as his hands fidgeted in his jacket pockets. “My hands were always too dirty for that type of thing anyway.”

“It’s never too late to learn.” Jonghyun quietly commented, flashing a smile when Jinki’s eyes found him again. “I could teach you if you’d like.” 

“I’d be a horrible student.” Jinki ducked his head, hair falling into his face at the motion. “But thank you for the offer.”

After carefully sitting at the edge of the dock with their feet swinging gently in the water below, Jonghyun softly asked, “What do you do when the campground isn’t being used?”

“I uh,” Jinki’s feet stopped moving for a moment, only returning to it once he said, “I work in politics. Sort of.” 

“Sort of?”

“It’s complicated.” Jinki slowly laid back flat against the dock, hands behind his head, staring up at the stars above them as he spoke. “Horses have always been the easiest thing for me to understand. They’re such powerful, yet gentle, beasts. I always say you never truly know love until you’ve earned the love of a horse.”

Jonghyun chuckled slightly as he twisted to look at Jinki a bit more. “Then you must be an expert on love.” 

“Yes, exactly.” Jinki’s expression twisted as he snorted. “I do hope you’ve enjoyed your tour with a side of too much guide information.” 

“I like talking to you.”

Slowly, Jinki pushed up on his right elbow, smiling as he asked, “Does that mean you’d be up to staying here with me a little longer?” 

Jonghyun found it so terribly easy to smile and feel so light around the other man it was almost startling. “I’d love to, only if you tell me more about this horse love philosophy.”

Whoa, that grin was pretty. “Deal.”

\----

The two of them soon find a rhythm. Jinki runs early in the mornings on the path around the lake before heading to the mess hall for breakfast. After stopping him one morning for tea made from the kettle on the fireplace, Jonghyun and he had walked to the mess hall almost every morning for breakfast. Jinki had to report to the stables right after to check out the horses and get ready for the first ride of the day at 11 am, but it was nice to sit together and talk. He learned so many things about Jinki. He was an only child, raised by a single mother after his father abandoned them. He was in a better place now, found by his grandfather when he was seventeen after his father died in a car accident. 

Jinki loved horseback riding for the freedom it always used to give him growing up. His mother got a job house cleaning for a family on the outskirts of town that lived on a farm. He learned all sorts of things about husbandry, horses, and how to take care of them in general. Riding them was always a treat the eldest child would give him in the late evenings while his mother worked. For that span of time on top of a horse he could forget how hard for money they were, the way his mother cried at night as she counted the tips she got from the diner down the street, or how his ‘nice’ sneakers were starting to get holes in them. 

The biggest thing he learns about Jinki during these talks is his son Minho. He’s to turn five that December. It’s alarming at first to hear Jinki has a child at how young he is, but even more so once he learns how the baby’s mother left him without a trace. Jinki had asked if he wanted children, and it hadn’t been the first time Jonghyun had thought about what his future may hold now. His wedding wouldn’t bare children naturally, not without breaking the vows they were to take eventually, but he knew that whatever future he had he wanted children to be apart of them. 

Jinki had found freedom in his horses and working from the moment he could to help his mother out. Jonghyun knew that true freedom would never come to him, not with his duty to his family hanging over his head, but as time passed Youngbae’s words were vibrant in his mind. They were told over them packing, ‘Live for yourself for just a little while, Jonghyun’. Odds are, he’d never see Jinki after his time at the campground came to an end. A summer fling, so to speak. 

As Jinki helped him get the kettle from the fire for their tea, Jonghyun watched the way he moved. He was so gentle around him, cupping his hand as he passed the mug over, or smiling as he asked if it was alright. Jonghyun had never felt the need to talk to someone almost every day and feeling down when Jinki didn’t come jogging up the path behind his cabin. He felt a bit guilty when he decided to let what was going to happen, happen, even if that meant, in the end, he hurt Jinki. The sharp curse said in such a warm voice brought Jonghyun from his thoughts. Jinki gave a sheepish smile, lowering his cup onto the table. “Sorry. It’s hotter than I thought.”

“Just startled me a little.” 

Jinki took a cookie from the paper bag on the table between them before pushing it across for Jonghyun to do the same. “This weekend the first deep camping trip is happening.”

“Deep camping?”

A few crumbs were on Jinki’s bottom lip as he spoke, “We take horses further up the mountain away from the grounds. Making fires and sleeping in tents. We do it once a month during each of the sessions.”

Jonghyun had only ever been camping in his backyard as a young boy and it had only lasted as long as it took for the noises of the night to begin and scare him from his tent. “Are you going?” 

“I always go.” Jinki looked over from the rim of his mug, cradling it between both of his palms. “You should come too.”

“It sounds like something experienced campers do.” 

“Don’t be scared.” The mug clinks as Jinki sets it on the plate. “I’ll protect you from the things that spook in the night.” 

“You sound so sure of yourself.”

Jinki’s fingers slip from the tabletop, falling into his lap for a moment. “Will you go with me? I promise you’ll be safe.” 

That wasn’t the problem. Having Jinki know that he was a complete chicken shit when it came to the dark and the creatures who called it home was. Still, Jonghyun found himself easily smiling and agreeing, “Alright. I’ll go.” 

\------

The ride up to where they’d make camp was beautiful. Bright flowers scattered across the forest floor, falling leaves as the branches above them blew in the breeze, and the sky so clear Jonghyun didn’t worry about it raining any time soon. Jinki was just ahead of him, leading the pack of a dozen or so campers. Jonghyun had sized most of them up while waiting for Jinki to check over his horse’s saddle one last time. The snippy jokes of needing to make the stirrup leathers shorter to match his height accompanied by a smirk. If it wasn’t for the slightly older man, he knew that he’d be severely unprepared for this. Most of the campers had their own tents, while Jinki had used his employee discount to buy one from the store the night before. 

Oddly enough he trusted Jinki to keep him safe during this. While he did, Jonghyun didn’t quite know, but the idea of the trust didn’t scare him. It probably should, but it felt so nice he didn’t want to question the easiness of it all. 

Jinki glanced over his shoulder, flashing that beautiful smile of his and Jonghyun couldn’t help but return one of his own. He really should tell the man how much he liked it when his hair was braided like it was now, gently swinging with the horse’s movements. Before that though, Jonghyun had to remember how to set up his tent and get the saddle from his horse. Luckily he knew Jinki would help him with both of those things.

\------

Around the fire Jinki and the other worker, Joon Jonghyun thinks he remembers, had built are the rest of the campers. Dinner included vegetables and rice cooked in little aluminum foil bags. The next morning they’d go on a hike, but tonight Jonghyun was content focusing on how the flames flickered their light over Jinki’s pretty features. His hair was down, fluttering around his face from when he had rinsed it out in the nearby stream. It had dried from the heat of the fire, curling a bit around his cheeks. Oh, he was smiling again, laughing about something Joon was telling him on the other side. It was when a guitar was pulled out from behind the other guide did Jonghyun’s attention come back to the conversation. Jinki was shaking his head, “No, I told you I wasn’t going to sing this time.” 

“Oh come now. I bet there are people here who would love to hear how good your voice is.” Jonghyun thinks for a moment that Joon is looking directly at him, but Jinki swatting at the man’s chest shatters that thought away.

“Fine.” Jinki downed the rest of the can of beer one of the campers had brought with them. “Play something _good_ this time.” 

Joon sets the guitar upon his thigh, holding the neck gently in his other hand before he begins to strum a quiet tune. Jinki’s voice, still so warm and lulling like a lullaby, cuts through the stillness of their night easily as he begins to sing to the campfire tune. At the moment, Jonghyun can’t explain the warmth in his chest or the way when Jinki looks at him he’s sure his cheeks are red. He never thought Jinki would be able to produce such a pretty singing voice. When the song comes to an end, all the campers clap for the little performance. 

_“Fuck.”_ Jonghyun hissed under his breath, the applause loud enough to drown it away, as it dawned on him what the feeling in his chest was. Love. He was falling in love. 

\-----

Everyone else is asleep when Jonghyun realizes that his fear of the night didn’t stop when he was a kid, the confirmation clear as day as the owls hooting cause him to shoot up from his sleeping bag. There’s a shadow outside of his tent, causing him to curl up tense, biting the fabric to stop himself from whimpering. He almost screams when he hears the soft hiss of his name from by the opening of his tent. 

“Jonghyun?” He knew that voice. Where did he know that voice? “Are you alright?” 

Oh, Jinki! Wiggling a little to get close enough to pull the zipper up, standing there is the man wrapped in a blanket and holding a lantern. His expression is tired, but one of concern. Jonghyun has to repeat himself when he responds because the fabric of his sleeping bag muffled his voice too quiet to hear. “I’m fine.” 

“I heard you moving over here all night. What’s wrong?” 

Biting his lip, Jonghyun lowered his gaze. He didn’t want to see Jinki laugh at him. “I’m not used to hearing all these noises. I don’t like the dark much like this.”

But it’s not laughter he hears, just a soft curse. “Why did you accept you’d come then?”

“I wanted to come with you.” 

“Jonghyun,” A pause, so quick but feeling as if it was an eternity. “My tent is big enough for two if you want company through the dark.”

His neck ached a little from how quick he whipped his head up. “What?” 

“There’s no need to be afraid all alone, Jonghyun.” 

This could either end really badly, or amazing, and he’s not sure which he’d rather happen. One thing Jonghyun knew was it was colder here and it wouldn’t hurt to have company through his fears. “Alright. Can you help me carry my pillow?”

Jonghyun deemed it then as Jinki smiled, that his sleepy grin was his utmost favorite. 

\----

In the stillness of the tent, he can hear Jinki breathing beside him. If he reached out just a foot he’d find the man curled up in his own sleeping bag. Being with someone did seem to help, but Jonghyun’s mind was moving too fast for sleep to find him easily. ”I’m sorry I brought you along.” 

“What?”

When he looks over, Jinki’s eyes are barely visible in the dim light through the nylon of the tent. “You said you came here for me. If I knew you were afraid of the dark I wouldn’t have asked.” 

“It’s not the dark per se, just,” Jonghyun sighs deeply, “It’s what in the dark, lurking in the shadows.” 

Everything moves so quickly Jonghyun isn’t sure what’s happening until the opaque fabric above them is being removed and the transparent plastic window shows a breathtaking view of the stars above them. Jinki settles once more beside him, huffing as the crinkling of all the nylon stops when he’s comfortable. “The night has many things lurking the shadows I’ll admit. I used to crawl into my mother’s bed because our neighbor’s dog would always howl in the middle of the night scaring me so badly I couldn’t go back to sleep.

“She’d pick me up, attempting to do it when I was far too big for it, but she’d take me to one of the only windows we had in the apartment and we’d look for the stars we could see with the city lights being so bright. Counting them, seeing the brightness in the dark, helped me fall back asleep.” He laughs quietly before continuing, “It might seem silly, but I thought it may work for you too.” 

Jonghyun wishes then he could kiss Jinki, press their lips together and feel that smile melt into pleasure against him. Instead, he wiggles his hand out to squeeze Jinki’s fingers that are still out between them. When the man looks at him, he grins. “Thank you.” 

Something shifts in Jinki’s expression, the smile falling away and his lips opening just barely. His gaze is soft, eyelashes fluttering as he blinks hazily with exhaustion. Before Jonghyun can piece everything together he feels Jinki’s lips against his own, a hand a feather brushing against his cheek. When Jonghyun opens his eyes again, Jinki is hovering above him, holding himself up by his elbow and a hand resting on the other side of Jonghyun’s head. An apology falls from Jinki’s lips like a mantra as he tries to fall away, but Jonghyun curves a hand around his neck keeping him close with a whispered. “Don’t go.” 

Jinki blinks a few times until a smile so bright and big it practically takes up his entire face. “I won’t.” is mumbled before their lips kiss once again. Later Jonghyun finds sleep in the warm safety of Jinki’s embrace.

\----

Jonghyun forgets what’s waiting for him at home. The wedding, his betrothed and his duty pushed away with each kiss Jinki presses against his lips, against his throat or in the way his fingers press into his back as he’s tugged closer. Passion finds a place to hide, snug between the two of them. The spot easier to find the longer and more frequent Jonghyun visits Jinki’s Cabin. It’s different than his own, a bit more personalized as if the man had made this a home away from home. Jonghyun supposed he had over the years. There’s a picture of Jinki and his mother on the small deck by the door, right next to the paperwork for his job and the schedule for the stable.

It’s also easy to forget the fact he had no experience in this, romance and lust. He feels himself slipping and being swallowed whole as Jinki’s hand slips under his shirt, and he can’t find himself minding it all. Still, deep down he senses this is going farther than they have ever gone before and he feels his experience level is something Jinki should know. “Jinki, Jinki wait.” 

Jinki immediately stops, hand sure on Jonghyun’s hip as he pulls his head back to look at him. The blatant concern on his face makes Jonghyun want to melt. “What’s wrong?”

“I’ve never,” He swallows thickly, breaking eye contact as he admits, “had sex before.”

“Oh,” Jinki breathes out, “Oh alright. Did you want to stop?” 

Did he? That was a good question. He loves- wait. It’s only been just over a month since their first kiss. How can he even think he loves Jinki? But the more he thinks about the more he knows it to be true. It was just something growing up that Jonghyun believed one’s first time should be with someone that they loved. He couldn’t have Jinki forever, they didn’t have the chance to find forever together. When Jinki taps his chin softly to lift his gaze, and Jonghyun is met with the kindest eyes he’s ever seen, he knows. The words are spilling from his mouth before he can even think to stop them. “I love you.” 

It’s as if time suddenly stopped as Jinki’s entire body goes rigid. “What?” 

No, no, no. He didn’t even THINK about the possibility that Jinki wouldn’t return his feelings, or that the man might think it was too soon. He was going to fuck it all up before anything really happened. Quickly, he tugged himself away from Jinki’s touch, words jumbling together with how quick and breathless they were coming out. “I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to scare you or make this awkward and-”

The tension shatters as Jinki warmly whispers, “I love you too.” 

Something snaps inside him as he whips around and catches Jinki’s heated gaze, and before he can stop himself he’s straddling the man’s lap and throwing his arms around his neck. “I didn’t want to stop. I don’t want to stop.” 

\-----

Jinki’s shirt is thrown behind him, his belt unbuckled and jeans barely hanging onto his hips as he presses his entire body down against Jonghyun’s. Everything is too warm and tingly, but Jonghyun decides he likes it. He runs his fingers down Jinki’s shoulders, noting how the man groans against his neck for future reference. Moving to the bedroom had been a mess of limbs and laughter, stopping every so often to press the other against the wall to continue kissing, or cursing as they knocked their shin against a piece of furniture. 

He knew Jinki was muscular, could tell that from the way his body moved under his shirt, but feeling it beneath his fingers was something else entirely. A part of him wants to taste it, kiss every part that he could reach, but before he could voice that Jinki is lifting his hips up just enough to get his hand in the waistband of Jonghyun’s underwear, cool fingers brushing against his aching cock. All thoughts sputter and spiral straight into red hot pleasure. He thought he knew what having his cock stroked felt like, but doing it himself and Jinki doing it were two very different things. He keened at the touch, fighting the urge to buck up into it. “Jinki, please.” 

“Fuck.” Is hissed quietly and Jonghyun understands. 

“Please just touch me, it feels so good Jinki,” He knew he had to sound absolutely obscene, but he could feel Jinki’s cock twitch against his thigh, even in the confines of his pants as he begged, “Please.”

\----

Being fingered had gone from being awkward and slightly uncomfortable to his cock dripping as Jinki curled them just right inside of him. “Relax. We have all night. Don’t push yourself.” 

Jinki’s gentleness made Jonghyun feel even warmer. He had offered to take it, explaining it’s far easier the first time that way, but Jonghyun wanted to feel him, felt more attracted to the idea of being fucked. By the time Jinki deemed him ready enough, Jonghyun was sure he was two shakes away from ending it all way too early and cumming on himself. The first push in is slow, but it’s more of a pressure than pain as Jinki slips in. On his hands and knees, his hip is gripped by Jinki’s left hand as he aligns himself with the other. He can feel the soft circle motions of the man’s thumb on his skin, the warmth of his voice soothing as he comes to a stop. “That’s it beautiful. You’re so fucking good.” 

Kisses are peppered along his shoulder blades as much as Jinki can without moving too much. Deep breaths, he remembers being told. Relax. It’s an odd sensation being filled like this, but it’s not an unwelcome one. It’s a few moments later that Jinki asks, “You okay?”

“Yes, just-” Jonghyun falls to his elbows with a huff, “Fuck me please.”

\-----

Jinki has his arms locked with the back of Jonghyun’s knees, fucking deep into him as quickly as he can. Each thrust causes Jonghyun’s voice to break mid sound, eyes squeezing shut as his head pressed back against the pillow. His thighs sting from the tension, but it all feels so damn good he can’t find a reason to complain. His hands above his head against the headboard give him leverage against Jinki’s movements.

All of sudden the tension of his legs is gone as Jinki lets them fall to the bed, his thrusts slowing down as he leans down to capture his lips in a filthy kiss. “I love you.” He whispers against his jaw, kisses punctuating the words on his way down to his neck where he sucks a deep mark. 

Jonghyun has no warning, can’t even think to give one out, as Jinki starts to move again. His nose is pressed into Jonghyun’s neck, lips ghosting over his skin as he rolls his hips. When Jonghyun cums, his back curves off the bed, arms tight around Jinki as his teeth skim his shoulder. He vaguely registers Jinki cursing, the stuttering of his hips and the added warmth in the condom as the man finishes too. He registers the sound of Jinki moaning his name and how much he loves the sounds of it.

Everything is way too hot and sticky, but the first thing on Jonghyun’s mind is kissing Jinki on the lips once more, and sleepily mumbling, “I love you too.” 

He knew he couldn’t have asked for a better first time.

\-----

Being with Jinki was so simple, like two puzzle pieces falling into place, but sitting by the fire in his cabin looking up at him Jonghyun is reminded of what is waiting for him in just a few days. Jinki smiles all hazy, from the warmth and how much food he had eaten at dinner, and nuzzles into his neck. “What are you thinking about? You’re scowling.”

“I-” Jonghyun’s gaze fell on the flickering flames of the fire. He was just pretending and lying to himself this could amount to anything. He had to tell Jinki. Even if in the process he would break both their hearts. He couldn’t sit here wrapped up in his love knowing he was lying to Jinki, an unspoken promise they’d be something after their time here had ended. Jonghyun’s heart was beating hard against his chest as he whispered. “I can’t do this.” 

“Love?”

“Please,” He whimpered, shaking his head and pulling away from the warmth of Jinki’s embrace. “Don’t call me that.” 

“Jonghyun what’s wrong?” The confusion in his voice was swiftly turning to panic as Jonghyun rushed to stand away from him. “I don’t understand.” 

He couldn’t look at Jinki then, couldn’t look at his beautiful face as he broke his heart in two. There were so many memories made in this cabin, their first kiss, their first time, and the first time they whispered I love you in between kisses… And their end. He felt the tears drip down his cheeks as he pressed his nails into his palms to try and distract his mind from the heartache as he admitted. “I’m to be married at the end of Summer. I can’t be with you and do my duty at the same time, no matter how much I love you. It’s over, Jinki.” 

He took a shaky breath, grabbing his coat and making his way to the door. Jinki gripped his wrist tightly, keeping him from taking another step. “Jonghyun, wait!” 

“Please let me go.” He squeezed his eyes shut, hand still in a fist as Jinki gripped his wrist. “Don’t make me have a memory of you hurt.” 

“You don’t understand!” 

“I understand enough.” He ripped his arm out of Jinki’s hold and sprinted out the door. For a few moments he swore he could hear the other man trying to follow, his name being called in that beautiful voice of Jinki’s, but soon it was just him, the dark, and the wind whistling through the trees. He stumbled and found purchase on a nearby tree, sliding down the truck and clutching his heart as the first sob left his throat. He never should have let himself fall in love, never should have given all of himself to Jinki. Now all he had left was duty and heartache.

\------

Walking down the aisle, the golden rug beneath his bare feet was soft, the flower petals gentle against his fingers as he brushed them with each step. In just a few hours these empty seats would be full to the brim with people he didn’t know were invited. Jonghyun paused halfway down the aisle and let his hands fall to his sides as he twisted around. The ballroom of his childhood home hadn’t looked this beautiful in years. The paint was redone, the windows without dust, and the floors had been freshly polished. Whoever he was to marry must have come with a heavy pocketbook. From what he saw of the menu for dinner and the expenses he had seen before the book was slammed shut from his view, only the best had been chosen. 

He wrapped his arms tight around his middle and swallowed thickly. A part of him wanted to run out of the front doors of his home, still the limo they’d be riding away to their honeymoon, and attempt to find Jinki. Jonghyun didn’t know where he lived or where to even start looking, but deep in his heart, he knew he’d always love the man he found himself with the past summer. He had shared so many firsts with Jinki. How could he forget all that and promise himself to another? A complete stranger at that. 

Jonghyun knew he shouldn’t have run away like he did, calling Youngbae from the office as soon as he could early that following morning, but he couldn’t handle whatever Jinki may say. Leaving him was hard enough without reliving it once again.

But his family was counting on him. If he ran away could they forgive him for it? He’d be trading his family for the man he loved. He shook his head, eyes squeezing shut as he lifted his hands quickly to wipe the few tears than fell. Jonghyun knew going through with the wedding was what he had to do. He had his fun, knew what love really felt like, and now it was time to do his duty to his family. Starting with going to get dressed before the first meeting before the ceremony began. He sucked in a harsh breath, squared his shoulders, and took the first step towards the rest of his life down the aisle toward the big open doors.

\-----

Jonghyun fidgeted with the lapel of his blazer, taking a deep breath with his eyes closed, trying to settle the nerves resting in his belly over meeting his betrothed for the first time. Youngbae’s hand on his shoulder forced Jonghyun to open his eyes. The older man had a soft smile on his face, “It’s time.” 

He grasped his right hand tightly with his left, trying to stop them from shaking. “Is he ready?” 

Youngbae took two steps to the left, peering around the corner of the building. The smile on his face was hard to place, but before Jonghyun could ask he was being tugged into a hug. “Good luck.” 

He was pushed out from behind the wall roughly. Whipping around, he scowled with a hiss, “Youngbae!”

“Jonghyun?” Spinning so quickly he stumbles, Jonghyun feels like the floor was swept out from under him. He can’t breathe, everything is blurring around the edges of the man standing before him in all white, the crest of the Kingdom on his right breast. Jinki. His Jinki. His hands were gloved, and not covered in mud from working with horses. His hair was cut and styled, no longer in the small ponytail in the back of his head, he had just a few weeks prior. It looked nice, pushed off his forehead in soft waves like that. His expression was gentle, nervous, but hopeful as he smiles so beautifully. “It’s nice to meet you, Jonghyun Kim.” 

He bows, rising slowly with one hand behind his back. The smile is falling from his face and Jonghyun can’t have that, finally making his feet move as he rushes forward. He freezes a stride away from Jinki, swaying a bit from his abrupt stop. So much of his heart wants to believe that this is all real and that Jinki is really standing in front of him, but he knows how many nights he had dreamed of something similar to this. Who’s to say he wasn’t now? Jinki doesn’t move as Jonghyun takes that final step closer, raising a shaking hand to hover in the air. A ragged gasp flutters from his lips as his fingers press against warm, solid skin on Jinki’s cheek. The gentle touch of them as he moves them to run over Jinki’s lips slowly pulling into a smile. “You’re really here.”

He throws his arms around Jinki’s neck, pressing their lips together in a heated kiss. Hands softly rest on his hips, staying there even as they part just enough to press their foreheads together. “How- I don’t understand.”

“What I told you before about my father abandoning my mother and me, and how my grandfather found me when I was seventeen was all the truth. I left out that my grandfather was the King.” It was then a hand rose from Jonghyun’s hips to cup his jaw. Jinki’s eyes are glossy as he smiles, “I thought you knew who I was and that was why you did all you had with me. By the time I figured out you didn’t know it was too late. I should have stopped you that night, made you stay and explain. I’m so sorry I let you believe you lost me.” 

“I’m to marry you?” Jonghyun barely recognizes his own voice with how soft and vulnerable it comes out as. 

“Yes, Love.” Hearing his pet name against his skin as Jinki kisses his forehead threatens to break apart the whirlwind of emotions inside of him. It’s the man’s next whispered words that make the first sob bubble from his throat. “We have our entire lives to love each other, Beautiful.”

Jonghyun’s head is held against Jinki’s chest tightly, snug up under the man’s chin. He holds Jinki in a tight embrace, clasping both arms around him.

\------

The wedding ceremony is beautiful, from the little bits that Jonghyun can see through the blurriness of his tears. Walking down that aisle, arm hooked with Jinki’s, it all dawns on him that he got what he wanted. His worst fear of all this was marrying someone he didn’t know and the unknown of whether he could ever learn to love that person the way he wanted to be loved. He knew now he didn’t have to worry about that. 

Little Minho was cowering behind his father’s legs, big eyes curious as he held up the two rings for the exchange. They had so much to learn about each other, a whole new relationship to mend and grow. Jonghyun knew how much Minho meant to Jinki. He also knew just by looking at the boy that he’d mean the world to him too by the end of things. 

When the vows he had memorized won’t come out no matter how hard he tries through the tears, Jinki laughs quietly at him. He lets go of Jonghyun’s hands to wipe the tears away, a fond smile on his face as he tells the priest to go on with the ending. Jonghyun does manage to say I do, and he’s so sorry that their first kiss as a married couple is salty from tears. He had thought his freedom was over the moment his parents decided it was their right to dictate who he was to marry. 

It turns out, it ended up granting his freedom in the end.

**Author's Note:**

> So I know this is posted late and I apologize, but my mother got into a car accident. While relatively fine, she does have trouble getting around and we were in the hospital from 6 pm to 1 am and it just drained me. I hope this is alright for the prompter and that you're happy with what I've written. If not, I apologize.
> 
> I hope you have a happy day/night :)


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